An environment is anything that surrounds you. It is not only your living quarters, your office or your car; but can include your belief system, relationships, networks, your body, natural gifting, values, energy, and feelings.
Have you ever had a friend who was the most amazing person and who loved you completely? Who encouraged you constantly to reach for your best destiny and didn’t give up on you? Some are very blessed to say they do have such a friend. This relationship offered a positive environment for you to learn and grow.
Now let’s look at the inverse. Unfortunately, I think this is a more common experience: we may have a friend who treats us well enough but as soon as we start to succeed, they slowly sabotage us. They sneak in criticisms or outright insults. It can be shocking because those who you think would support you end up abandoning you.
Music is a wonderful environment. There is music that is raw and vulgar and music that is uplifting. There may be times when listening to a rocker scream her heart out is good therapy but to constantly partake of such musical fare would not advance your dreams.
Another environment is the media. I stopped buying most women’s magazines years ago because I didn’t care for the messages. I believe a woman’s beauty is defined by who she is and her inner strength; not by how many pounds she lost in six months or if she’s able to have amazing sex with her husband/boyfriend.
And the older I get, the more annoyed I am with the expectation that a woman has to look twenty-one years old forever. However, as the “Baby Boom” generation ages, they continue to make a difference in the national consciousness by refusing to be defined by age alone.
Older women have become role models as they set the example that a fifty-one year old woman can be just as sexy as her younger sisters. Women such as Diane Keaton, Sela Ward, Connie Chung, Alfred Woodward, Patricia Heaton, and Meredith Vera, have shown that a woman’s sexual allure does not diminish after her thirtieth birthday.
Powerful slogans and catch-phrases can also be a good environment or bad. How many have taken the “Whatever!” attitude seriously? What does it do to one’s sense of ambition when they have a “Whatever!” approach to life?
The single women I’ve coached have had various environmental issues in their life. Some have realized that they live in an environment that is not conducive for developing an intimate relationship.
One woman realized that her beliefs about men and relationships were negative and affected her perspectives on dating. She also started to notice how many messages others were sending to her that presented marriage as an undesirable pursuit.
When we worked on replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones, she could see a difference in her attitude, plus, she was more optimistic that she would find someone special.
Another common opportunity in changing a single person’s environment is literally getting out of the house. As a single, you need to search for new situations and leaving the familiar is part of it.
Start to look at the beliefs and information that surround you. You might be surprised to find that not all of it is beneficial. The good news, though, is you have the power to change it and you don’t even have to run to the paint store to do it. Have fun renovating!